It is just a moment

On Saturday I went to a near by onsen (hotspring in Japanese). It wasn't too crowded. The weather was also good, so it felt pretty nice.

There is a steam sauna where they steam some herbs, which cures my coughs or any other early indicators of a common cold. I stayed there for a few minutes before soaking in various onsen pools outside.

Then I wanted to inhale the herbal steam again; and went in. When I opened the door, I slipped, fell back and heard a loud scary sound....It was from my head, or the inside of it. I had hit the back of my head somehow badly. I stood up and went out. I had this strange headache in the opposite side of my head for a minute, when I was resting outside. Then I decided to leave the onsen.

I was somehow uneasy for half of that day: you never know. I could die. We all die someday, but that could be the day.

Then I thought: yes, of course, it is totally out of control. It somehow, instinctively feels the other way round, but it is not. It is just a matter of time.

Now when I do all the routine and futile things everyday, this is what I think: are these the things I want to do, knowing that I can just leave in this moment? In this VERY moment of my, say, last day?

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